


No Competition

by Halmaithor



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Feelings, Happy Ending, M/M, Magnus isn't actually jealous Alec's just a worrywart, NO JALEC, Others are only mentioned, Post-Canon, implied sex at the end but like... LIGHTLY implied, seriously it's just canon levels of 'Alec had a crush on him once'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21763528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halmaithor/pseuds/Halmaithor
Summary: On her bad days, when she's feeling uncharacteristically insecure, Izzy worries about the feelings Simon used to have for Clary.When she confides in Alec, he realises that he and Magnus have never really addressedhischildhood crush. Or the small fact that Alec still shares part of hissoulwith that very person.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood, past Clary Fray/Simon Lewis - Relationship
Comments: 24
Kudos: 273





	No Competition

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is another one-shot that wouldn't leave me alone until I got it finished, haha. 
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: There is NO Jace/Alec in this fic. The crush discussed is canon-typical, no more. 
> 
> Please enjoy! <3

Alec’s position as Inquisitor doesn’t often bring him back to New York. It’s a little eerie wandering through the familiar halls, noticing the subtle ways they’ve changed in the months since he was last here. The lights seem a little starker, and the air a little warmer – but then again, perhaps he’s just grown too used to the soft glow of Alicante, and the northern winds that chill the streets of Idris.

The most notable difference is also the most intangible, and it takes him a moment to realise what it is. The _wards._ He and Magnus celebrated their first anniversary not too long ago, and his husband’s magic is a comforting, familiar hum over most places Alec finds himself these days – his office in Alicante. Their loft. Magnus’ arms at night. The same used to be true of the New York Institute, but in Magnus’ absence, Izzy’s obviously had to call in another warlock to maintain the wards. _Most probably Lorenzo,_ Alec’s brain supplies; though whether that realisation is born of his fleeting familiarity with Lorenzo’s magic, having wielded it in Edom, or whether it’s just sensible to assume the High Warlock of Brooklyn is the one maintaining the wards, Alec isn’t sure.

He pauses a moment, clearing his head, and knocks on the door of an office that was his not so long ago.  
‘Come in,’ Izzy calls, and Alec steps inside.

Izzy looks up from her desk with a smile, and stands to wrap Alec in a hug. ‘Hey, you. I wasn’t expecting you so early.’  
‘I thought we could get lunch before the meeting this afternoon. By some miracle, Lydia’s briefing actually ended ahead of schedule,’ he explains. That’s another weird fact of his life, now – his friendship with Lydia, which is warm and light-hearted despite their complex history. Alec often ribs her about the _thoroughness_ of her briefings; she never goes over the allotted time, of course, but she’s infamous for being one of the only people to consistently use it to completion. _I’ve found it’s important to take my time and get all the facts straight,_ she said once, a trace of amusement in her expression. _I remember that once, I was at a par_ tic _ularly important political ceremony – and if I’d rushed it? If I’d reached the end before it could be called off? Well, right now I’d be married to someone who was completely wrong for me. I’m actually pretty sure he was gay.  
_ Alec had glared at her, trying to stop his traitorous mouth from twitching upwards to return her smirk.   
(Magnus had made no such effort, chortling in delighted earnest.)

‘How’s Simon?’ Alec remembers to ask, before he can get too lost in his own head again.  
Which immediately stops being a problem, because Izzy’s hesitation and hastily-covered unease seize all of his attention. ‘He’s good,’ she says, too brightly. ‘Yeah, he’s good.’  
‘Izzy.’ It’s not a question. He raises an eyebrow, in a way that he knows Izzy will correctly interpret as _Come on, you’ve gotta know by now that I can see right through you?_

Izzy meets his gaze defiantly – Magnus has always insisted that Lightwood stubbornness is genetic, though he admits that wouldn’t explain Jace – but after a few seconds, she sighs in mild defeat. ‘It’s nothing,’ she insists. ‘It’s stupid.’  
‘Maybe it is,’ Alec says with a shrug, ‘but if it’s bothering you…’ He trails off, because despite how far he’s come in terms of healthy communication, he’d still rather leave certain things – such as _I’m always here if you need to talk_ – unsaid, as long as they’re understood.

Izzy’s always understood him better than most.   
She drops down into a chair, gesturing for Alec to take the one next to it. ‘It’s stupid,’ she says again, ‘and I _know_ it is, because things are going great with Simon. He’s sweet, and kind, and I trust him.’  
She’s silent for a moment, and Alec prompts her. ‘But?’  
 _‘But,’_ she sighs, ‘I’ve had a long week, and I’ve barely seen him because he’s helping Clary readjust to the Shadow World. Which is great,’ she adds hurriedly. ‘Obviously, I’m so, _so_ happy she’s back.’ _Me too,_ Alec thinks, because his brain doesn’t have nearly as good a poker face as his demeanour. ‘But she and Simon… I don’t know,’ Isabelle continues, seeming a little frustrated now. ‘I’m not usually _like_ this, and I probably wouldn’t be if I wasn’t so swamped here. But I can’t help thinking… it’s _Clary,_ and Simon was crushing on her for _years_ before I was even in the picture. No matter how good we are together, how can I compete with that kind of bond?’

Alec’s not sure what to say to that, so instead he just stands up, and pulls Izzy into another hug, feeling her lean heavily against him. ‘I could always ask Magnus to threaten him,’ he offers. ‘He thinks the world of you, and after eight centuries to perfect it, I bet he gives an _incredible_ shovel talk.’  
Izzy laughs, pulling away, and Alec feels himself smile. _Mission accomplished._ ‘It’s okay,’ she says. ‘Like I say, I’m just tired, or this wouldn’t even bother me. I trust Simon. And Clary, too.’ She wanders over to the coat rack, draping her jacket around her shoulders. ‘Now, you mentioned buying me lunch?’  
Alec frowns. ‘Who said I was buying?’ He shakes his head in mock-disapproval. ‘Honestly, this Institute’s hospitality towards official visitors really has slipped, hasn’t it?’   
They bicker like that all the way to the diner. Alec keeps an eye on his sister, pleased to see that she rarely stops smiling the whole time.

***

Alec wants to toss and turn, frustrated with this stupid insomnia, but he doesn’t want to wake Magnus. He sighs, his eyes not so much _heavy_ as stubbornly being refused the luxury of opening again. Izzy’s words have been echoing around his head for hours, ever since he portalled back from New York – and now, lying in the dark without any distraction, they threaten to consume him with worry.

 _Simon was crushing on her for_ years _before I was even in the picture.  
No matter how good we are together, how can I compete with that kind of bond? _  
Alec’s hand shifts down to graze absentmindedly against his parabatai rune, and he sighs again.

He didn’t realise it until Izzy confessed her moment of insecurity, but Alec and Magnus have never really talked about Alec’s old crush on Jace. Magnus obviously _knows_ about it – it’s one of the first things Magnus said to him, and it was maybe the first time Alec had ever been told that there was _nothing to be ashamed of._ Since then, they’ve been through hell together in every figurative and literal way, and throughout it all they’ve had such a whirlwind romance that there’s barely been time to think beyond _I love you_ and _I want you_ and _always._

But now, Alec’s thinking that maybe they should have made time for this particular conversation. Though nowhere _near_ as all-consuming as his almost-immediate feelings for Magnus, Alec’s crush on Jace was long-lasting and pretty damn significant throughout his younger years. And yeah, with the benefit of hindsight, he’s fairly certain it wasn’t even about _Jace_ for the most part, besides the initial attraction; it was Alec needing an outlet for all his repression and shame, directing that side of him towards someone who he knew wouldn’t immediately hate him for it. And, if he’s honest, towards someone who he couldn’t have – so that he could hide behind _that,_ instead of risking developing feelings for a more viable option, and then having to face them head-on.

But even if it wasn’t a typical crush, it wasn’t _nothing._ And Magnus surely has to know that Alec loves him, there’s no way he could think otherwise – but he’s been hurt before, too many times for any mortal to count. What if on the bad days, the ones when even the spark of Magnus’ magic seems to dim a little and the years seem to weigh heavy in his bones, he’s thinking along the same lines as Izzy after a long week? Remembering how Jace’s image appeared in front of Alec when they summoned the memory demon? How a part of his husband’s _soul_ still belongs to a man he had a crush on for about a decade?

Alec resists the urge to sigh again, but Magnus’ breathing hitches anyway, and Alec rethinks – yet again – his semi-serious theory that his husband is at least a little psychic. He watches as Magnus’ face scrunches, his eyes shifting between gold and brown as he blearily blinks them open. ‘Alexander, what’s wrong?’  
Alec huffs out a miniscule laugh. ‘Who says anything’s wrong?’  
Magnus frowns, gently swatting at him. ‘Try again. Your thoughts are _much_ too loud for everything to be alright.’

Alec swallows, wondering how he should phrase his concern. ‘Does Jace bother you?’ he blurts out, before wrinkling his nose in self-annoyance. Okay, in terms of tone, they’re apparently going for _blunt and graceless._

Magnus’ eyes widen in surprise. ‘What?’ he says, a small, incredulous smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. ‘He’s annoying, sure; but he’s your brother, that’s essentially his job. Plus, since we moved, and he doesn’t just… _show up_ at inopportune moments anymore, I’ve grown to like him a lot better. It seems he’s much more palatable in small doses.’   
He laughs quietly – but when Alec doesn’t join in, his expression turns a little more serious. ‘Alexander,’ he says earnestly, ‘I knew your mother when she was still a _Circle member._ Never in a million years did I think that one day I’d be _friends_ with Maryse Lightwood, but here we are. Trust me when I tell you that of my in-laws, your slightly-irritating parabatai is hardly the tallest hurdle to jump.’

Alec just shakes his head. ‘No, it’s not that. It’s not just that he’s annoying, or the, uh… _boundary_ issues,’ he says, ignoring Magnus’ smirk because this is _far_ too serious a conversation for him to use the term _cockblock._   
Alec groans, settling back further into his pillow. He wishes he’d never brought it up, but it’s too late now. ‘I was talking to Izzy, and she was feeling down, because Simon was so busy with Clary that she hadn’t seen him much. And she started talking about how – you know, how he used to feel about her, and the… _bond_ that still exists between them. And I just… I just didn’t want…’

Thankfully, Magnus’ face lights up in understanding, and Alec lets the sentence die unfinished. ‘Ah,’ Magnus says. ‘You’re worried that I may feel the same way?’  
‘Not _worried,’_ Alec says tiredly, looking up at the ceiling. ‘Just… I know it’s weird. And I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.’

There’s a few beats of silence, and then a hand is gently guiding Alec’s gaze back to his husband, who’s smiling softly. ‘Alexander,’ he murmurs, ‘it’s alright. I promise.’ He presses a chaste kiss to Alec’s lips.  
Alec’s eyes stay fixed on Magnus’ expression as they part. ‘Yeah?’  
Magnus nods, still smiling. ‘Yeah. You’ve accepted my past without quarrel – well,’ he amends, when Alec arches an incredulous eyebrow, ‘with far _less_ quarrel than I’m accustomed to. The point is, we moved past all of _that._ What kind of hypocrite would I be if I couldn’t get over you having a childhood crush?’

‘But it’s different,’ Alec insists, wishing he could just accept Magnus’ answer at face value and hating that he has to protest. ‘Jace is still in our lives. He’s still a _part_ of me. That doesn’t weird you out?’

Magnus looks away for a moment, and even though he knows an instant platitude wouldn’t be enough, Alec’s heart lurches a little. ‘I’ll admit,’ Magnus says slowly, ‘that I don’t fully understand the emotional ramifications of a parabatai bond. I’m not a Shadowhunter, so it’s likely that I never will.’ He meets Alec’s eyes again. ‘But it doesn’t matter, because I trust you.’

Alec holds his gaze for a moment, a little overwhelmed. Magnus smiles again, more brightly now. ‘Besides,’ he says, shifting gracefully until he’s straddling Alec, hands either side of his head, ‘let’s review, shall we? You left Lydia at the altar. You pissed off Clave officials more times than I can count. You asked Stanley to turn you into a _vampire_ so you could get to Edom; and when you managed to get there anyway, despite that _brilliant_ plan falling through, you told me in no uncertain terms that you would _stay_ there with me. _Forever.’_

He leans closer, his breath ghosting over Alec’s lips as he chuckles softly. ‘Not to mention, there were all those times you reminded me of that old superstition – how did it go? Ah, yes: _Nephilim love once,’_ he says, in a poor approximation of Alec’s voice that makes him smile helplessly anyway. Magnus’ smile widens in response, his eyes shining bright and golden. ‘Alexander, I hope you didn’t think you were _subtle._ Why should I worry about anyone else intruding on this side of your life, when any idiot could see how smitten you are?’

Alec leans up, closing the distance between them with a soft kiss, one full of promise. ‘Well, I guess you’ve found me out,’ he murmurs, a little breathless. ‘So I s’pose there’s no point denying it. I love you.’

Magnus gasps in exaggerated shock. ‘What a coincidence,’ he breathes. ‘I happen to love you too.’

It’s a long time before they get up and start their days, and the last thread of doubt in Alec’s mind settles. After all, it’s hard for anyone to be jealous when you feel like the only two people in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please do let me know what you thought. <3
> 
> [Find me on tumblr!](silver-latin-and-salt.tumblr.com)


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